I am nineteen and I am still a virgin.
No, I am not Christian, and no, I am not asexual. I had one guy ask me, “How could you give him a blow job, and not have sex?” He said it as though I am some sort of prude alien. The truth is, I just never felt comfortable taking things that far. After one boyfriend, some pointless dates, and a drunken hookup, I have decided to save myself for marriage. Actually, I am quite proud of my decision. Is this some sort of contractual agreement I have made with myself? Absolutely not. I have no idea what is in store for the next five years of my life. What I do know is, this is where I stand as of today, and it is going to take one hot Brazilian model or Australian surfer to change that. Much of my generation has felt pressured to lose their virginity, and lose it early. Seemingly, everyone around them has. They feel as though it is an achievement they must reach, like a level in a video game.
You are in control of your own body, and no one can tell you otherwise. If you are in a relationship, you are ready to have intercourse, but then change your mind; you are not a terrible person for doing so. I cannot tell you how many times I have been called a tease. I have had my fair share of rejection because I am a virgin, too. Boys do not want to risk me getting attached afterwards. Which, does happen very easily for me. The rejection has been hard. It makes me feel as though that is the only thing they are after. That if they were to take my virginity, they would scurry away once they got what they wanted. I want to share that moment with someone who I care about, and I know for a fact those feelings are reciprocated. That person may be a boyfriend or a total babe you swiped right on. For me, that person is a husband.
So, if you are sixteen, twenty-six, or forty-six and have not lost your virginity; have no fear. There is certainly nothing wrong with you. Besides, there are many ways you can keep yourself, and your partner, satisfied; without going all the way. Hand-jobs and blow jobs are excellent alternatives. If you are worried about giving oral to your partner, be open with them about your concerns. Communication is key. If they care about you, they will be honest and understanding. If you do not currently have someone in your life, masturbation is another option (and completely healthy!). If you are eighteen, vibrators and other sex toys are available at any adult store. Depending on the type of vibrator, they are relatively affordable. You can purchase one through Adam and Eve for as little as twenty dollars. The choice is 100 percent yours.
Some may say that virginity is just a word. But to me, it is much more than that. It is something I am choosing to hold sacred until the day I walk down the aisle towards the one I love.