Killer And A Sweet Thang originated as Eileen Kelly’s high school Tumblr account. Growing up in a conservative Catholic community in Seattle with a single dad, she didn’t have many people to talk to about puberty or sexual health. Forced to figure out the answers to important questions on her own, she would often turn to her peers or the internet. But everything she found online seemed to be written from a solely clinical point of view. 

Tired of watching herself and peers struggle with sexual situations, in the spring of 2016 she set out to create the platform she felt her community lacked. In only two years her little website has grown into a full-fledged movement, racking up over 3 million page views and counting!

Inspired by our writers’ vulnerability, we figured it was only fair we let you get to know a little more about the team behind KAAST. So we sat our very own founder and CEO down for a little chat!

 

Where are you from?

Eileen: I’m from Seattle, Washington.

 

And what influence did growing up there have on you today?

People in Seattle are a very unique breed… the outdoors are very important.  I would say everyone [in Seattle] is pretty down to earth, which was nice to grow up around and be surrounded by that energy. But at the same time I think it’s a much slower pace,  so I was always itching to get out of there.

 

How old were you when you moved to New York?

I moved to New York when I was 17.

 

What was that like?

Crazy! I moved right after I graduated high school. I lived alone, actually, and barely knew anyone. I think spending as much time as I did alone and in my head had a lot of influence on where [the idea for Killer And A Sweet Thang] stemmed from.

 

Can you talk a little bit about your family dynamic growing up?

I have three siblings, they’re all older—so I’m the baby of the family. My mom passed away when I was young, so I grew up with a single dad. [Since] my siblings were all out of the house by the time I entered high school, and my dad traveled a lot for work, so once again… a shit ton of alone time during [those] really young and formative years. At the time, maybe [that] bothered me a lot more and maybe I felt neglected in some ways, but as I’ve gotten older I really appreciate [growing up as I did], because I think it really shaped my personality and ability to start my own motor.

 

How do you think your experiences growing up have influenced your work today?

Oh, I mean I think it has everything to do with the work I do—especially the part of growing up without an adult female figure in my life. I really had no one close to me to talk about sexual things or puberty, so I felt extra alone in those topics. I think it just pushed me to be like, Okay, for other people who felt that immense kind of murkiness, why isn’t there a resource for them to figure out the answer to these questions that aren’t from a medical point of view? So [KAAST] is as if you’re talking to someone, like the older sister or mom you wished you had.

 

Dating apps or meeting people IRL?

Meeting people in real life.

 

Sub or dom?

I think it depends on the situation.

 

How do you sexually identify?

I guess I technically identify as bisexual. But I don’t really love the label. My sexuality is so firmly unique to me, as is everyone’s, that I feel like I’m succumbing to someone [else’s] view of it by having to label my own sexuality. For some people it can be incredibly empowering to label themselves, but personally, I don’t feel that way.

 

Sex on the first date—yes or no?

Personally, no.

 

What turns you on in a partner?

I like people who are outgoing, funny. I like people’s energy. I also like motivated people more than any physical quality.

 

What turns you off in a partner?

Not having confidence. I think it’s really sexy when someone’s confident in what they’re doing, and has the ability to ask you, “does this feel good?” But I also think that’s the Leo in me speaking! *laughs*

 

Have you ever ghosted someone? 

I think I’m too nice to fully ghost someone.

 

Have you ever been ghosted?

Yes, I have.

 

How did that make you feel?

Shitty. But also at the same time, I feel like at the end of the day I’m like, this is your issue and not mine. If you don’t have the emotional maturity to just tell me, “This isn’t working.” Then, that’s not really my problem.

 

That’s a very well adjusted viewpoint. Good for you!

I mean at the time it definitely hurt, and you’re like I want to smash a window! But I think afterwards you’re like why am I wasting my time? There’s so many people out there to experience that I don’t need to mope on one person. It’s part of being human, it’s okay for not everyone to be attracted to you and vice versa. And that’s just something we need to accept.

 

How do you show someone you like them?

I’m very straightforward. Even how I met my current boyfriend, I approached him at the bar. I thought he was attractive, and I walked right up to him.

 

What did you say? 

I think I waved at him? And kind of like waved [a] come-over-here-you-can-talk-to-me-I’m-down type of thing. And then we started making out.

 

Can you talk a little bit about some of the DMs you get?

I would say I get crazier DMs if I post a more sensual photograph. So, I feel like on some level I’m prepared for what I’m going to receive because I know what I just posted. The other day I got a dick pic… I hadn’t gotten one of those in a long time. That was a little startling. If I asked for it? Sure. But I didn’t.

 

Would you say men tend to DM you more than women?

Women probably DM me more. It’s going to be only men who DM me sexually—actually, that’s not true. Some girls have said they have girl crushes on me or they wanna hook up.

 

Who do the aggressive messages normally come from?

Men. Hands down. I would say [with the] women, they want advice on very specific situations—which is really awesome, but at the same time, it’s a lot of pressure. Because I don’t know you, and I don’t know the whole situation. Sometimes I just don’t really know how to answer [them]. I can’t tell you how to live your life.

 

Have you ever hooked up with someone who DMed you first?

I’ve DMed someone and hooked up with them, does that count? I said, “I heard you have a big dick, can I get a pic?”

 

And he was receptive?

He was receptive. We did end up hooking up. [But] I would say that was more of a situation where we had mutual friends. It wasn’t someone who was completely random. I was newly single and was playing around and sent it.

 

Do you send nudes?

Maybe in a long-term relationship? But not super explicit nudes. I’m kind of paranoid about my iCloud getting hacked one day.

 

That’s fair. Do you have phone sex ever?

I like sexting. Honestly I could go into a side career of writing literotica.

 

What’s the worst thing a former partner has ever said to you?

Oh my god, I probably blocked it out! [However] I found these old texts with an ex-boyfriend the other day, because I was cleaning out my computer. And he called me heartless bitch. But I guess that’s not even that bad.

I had one person, way after the fact, say that [he] never loved [me]. But I knew that wasn’t true.

 

What’s something really dope that a former partner said to you? 

I always find it nice when they compliment what I do. For someone who’s been so active on the internet, I feel jaded in some sense if they tell me I’m attractive or certain things. I’m like, I hear this from a lot of strangers on the internet… so it doesn’t feel as special.

 

Do you find it harder to connect to people in this digital age?
Yes, because I think it’s one thing to be intimate over the internet, and it’s an entirely different phenomenon to be intimate in person.

 

Text or call?

Call. I’m actually a caller.

 

Have you ever been with someone who wasn’t that great in bed—if so, how did you handle the situation?

I wouldn’t say someone who’s been bad in bed, necessarily, but more so inexperienced. Something that’s really great about my job is I have a lot of practice communicating and talking about sex. So that’s something I have no problem doing in the bedroom, as well. No matter how comfortable or not comfortable I am with someone. *winks*

 

Do you think social media makes it harder to be monogamous and focus on one person?
Yes. It’s this idea that there’s so many more options out there. I think [social media has made] monogamy a lot more muddled, like [when] they’re liking or DMing other people on the internet… is that emotional cheating? Like what is cheating anymore? I feel we don’t have these distinct lines of what cheating really means, so we can’t have them about monogamy.

 

Have you ever felt empty after having sex?

When I was younger I used to really heavily connect love and sex, and I think that was [from] waiting to only have sex with my first boyfriend. And from that point on, for multiple partners, I only had sex with people I seriously dated. And that’s something I’ve been trying to outgrow. That put me in the position to revisit and have sex with exes—because I felt like that was more comfortable or more safe than going out and finding a new partner.

Which now, looking back at it, I don’t know if it was the best thing for me emotionally.

I would say that sometimes revisiting ex-boyfriends and having sex with them made me feel kind of empty. We’re here because we’re comfortable, and we’re here because we’re having sex… but it’s not the same as it was, and I don’t know if I [was] ready for that.

 

Have you ever been heartbroken?

Yeah. I’ve never been broken up with, though, I’ve always broken up with people. I would say a few of my breakups felt very devastating at the time. It was the situation where it was like, I’m leaving but at the same time I’m breaking my own heart.

 

And how did you get over that?

I think time.

 

Can you name a sexual fantasy you have?

I would love to have a threesome with a long-term partner. I’ve only ever had them where I was the random—or not even random, but I was the one who wasn’t in the relationship.

 

I hope your boyfriend reads this.

We’ve talked about it…

 

Do you have any advice for dating?

Just remembering there’s a lot of people out there. I think as young people we tend to get hung up on one person if they’re not into us, and just remember it’s okay that you’re not into everyone—so why aren’t others allowed the same? And just being safe and confident in your needs.

 

Has it ever been difficult to date with your public persona?

I get asked this on panels, and I always say I wouldn’t be attracted to someone who isn’t into what I do. But it has been an issue when I was younger… It is so funny, because there’s a specific type of guy I know [who] would be the type of guy who likes all my photos, comments, DMs me a dick pic, and would maybe wanna sleep with me but would never want to date with. Ya know, it’s the mother [versus] the whore type vibe?

I would say it has brought out some of people that I’ve dated insecurities, from watching other guys be into me or just people online, and that [can] make them feel some type of way… but I just try to set this overview and a reminder of like, Listen, I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t want to be with you.